38 yer olds are good kisserssss
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
