your parents love me but you hate me
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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