Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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