I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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