If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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