Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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