Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
