remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
