We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
