so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
