I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
How does it feel to date your dad?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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