he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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