Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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