We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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