Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
