saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
