the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
