I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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