I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
