The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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