Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
