Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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