you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
