..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
