just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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