Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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