I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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