also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
