I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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