i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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