I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
