Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
