Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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