Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
