i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
