A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
