Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
