He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
