He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
there is puke in my bra ... again
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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