your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Pappa wants mamma naked
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
