He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
