i already hear my dad disowning me
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
