Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
