Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
