I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
