Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
