...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
