I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
