Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
