sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
