I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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